At the behest of Ranting Russell Executive Editor Renee Muller, staff will analyze all horror movies from 1970 to 1980 whose titles are simply "The" and one other word. This silly - nay, ridiculous - concept arose two nights ago whilst staff drank a bottle of Four Roses bourbon after-hours that Sheridan Rowan got as a Christmas present from her aunt. Longtime staffer Isabella Stamps ruminated on her love of Tony Curtis and The Manitou, and new staffer Chone Lee chimed in about how underrated 1972's The Asphyx is, and hey, presto! here comes Renee - who already had two beers before diving into the bourbon, I might add, and probably wasn't thinking clearly - pointing out that both movie titles were simply an article and a noun. How many horror movies can you think of that are just "The" and a noun? she challenged us. We half-drunkenly threw out the obvious ones - The Exorcist, The Devils, The Boogens, The Shining, et al. "THAT'S THE NEXT PROJECT," spaketh our inimitable leader. "We will watch ALL horror movies produced within a designated time period whose tiles are 'The' and a noun." And that, sadly, was that.
I hoped Renee would, upon sobering up the next morning, shake her head in that I'm-so-sorry-for-everything-I-said-last-night-when-I-was-drunk kind of way and tell us to forget she had even entertained the idea, but no - if anything, she doubled down, calling all of us before 9am: "I want the 'Article, Noun' list by noon." Hell of a way to begin the new week.
The "designated time period" is 1970 to 1985, and there is no rational reason for that span of time. Renee's love of all things 1970s dictated that we include the whole decade, and one staffer who shall remain nameless threatened to quit unless we all - ALL of us - watched Michael Mann's glorious 1983 disaster The Keep, pushing us into the early 80s. Thus 1985 became the official subjective cut-off year.
As already mentioned, to qualify a movie can only be two words: "The" and a noun. Hence, integral movies such as The Satanic Rites of Dracula and The Evil Dead are automatically disqualified.
Here is the list. No doubt it's incomplete, so please email us with everything we missed:
The Devils (1971)
The Victim (1972)
The Asphyx (1972)
The Cult (1972, AKA The Manson Massacre)
The Fiend (1972, AKA Beware My Brethren)
The Other (1972)
The Baby (1973)
The Bride (1973, AKA Last House on Massacre Street)
The Exorcist (1973)
The Crazies (1973)
The Demons (1973, Jess Franco)
The Pyx (1973)
The Forgotten (1973, AKA Don't Look in the Basement)
The Antichrist (1974)
The Gardener (1974)
The Tenant (1975)
The Ghoul (1975)
The Omen (1976)
The Premonition (1976)
The Keeper (1976)
The Child (1977)
The Sentinel (1977)
The Chosen (1977, AKA Holocaust 2000)
The Uncanny (1977)
The Pack (1977)
The Possessed (1977)
The Psychic (1977, AKA Seven Notes in Black)
The Spell (1977)
The Brute (1977)
The Bees (1978)
The Swarm (1978)
The Legacy (1978)
The Evil (1978)
The Fury (1978)
The Manitou (1978)
The Shout (1978)
The Brood (1979)
The Dark (1979)
The Evictors (1979)
The Visitor (1979)
The Attic (1980)
The Unseen (1980)
The Awakening (1980)
The Shining (1980)
The Babysitter (1980)
The Boogeyman (1980)
The Fog (1980)
The Children (1980)
The Changeling (1980)
The Hearse (1980)
The Alchemist (1981/1983)
The Beyond (1981)
The Boogens (1981)
The Burning (1981)
The Fan (1981)
The Funhouse (1981)
The Hand (1981)
The Howling (1981)
The Nesting (1981)
The Pit (1981)
The Prowler (1981)
The Survivor (1981)
The Aftermath (1982)
The Appointment (1982)
The Clairvoyant (1982)
The Entity (1982)
The Incubus (1982)
The Forest (1982)
The Sender (1982)
The Slayer (1982)
The Thing (1982)
The Hunger (1983)
The Prey (1983)
The Being (1983)
The Lift (1983)
The Keep (1983)
The Initiation (1984)
The Mutilator (1984)
The Game (1984)
The Bride (1985)
The Covenant (1985)
The Strangeness (1985)
The Stuff (1985)
The thought initially was to go in chronological order, but that idea quickly fell by the wayside when staffer Van Bigola found a used copy of The Pyx on DVD at a pawn shop ("It was clearly meant to be," said he), so we'll being with The Pyx and go in whatever order we like after that. Renee wants this project all wrapped up by the end of 2022. Start your timers.
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| courtesy retrographik.com |
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